Be Passionate About Your Occupation (What A Lovely Thought)

In a day and age when most of the population are very much aware of the economy and how it affects them, it is rare that someone will accept a job that pays less because it is more enjoyable or something they want to do.  More and more people are worried about the bottom line; they are worried about whether or not they have insurance coverage or will be able to pay a mortgage on a house in a "good" neighborhood.  This is not to say that there are not jobs out there that are wonderful AND pay well, it is just evident among the people I talk to that so many people are afraid of finding a job they like, because they don't want to "rock the boat".

My husband LOVES his job.  He is a mailman.  A letter carrier, for those modern, PC types.  He walks 13 miles a day, so he gets lots of exercise, and he meets lots of great people.  He takes care of his customers, and they take care of him.  Because of his job we have gotten free wood for our fire place, lots of pallets for building things around the house, discounts on many things we have needed to run our home, and tips about where to get furniture and fixtures for next to nothing.  With his personality it seems he was born for a job like this.

Over the years he has talked about finding a job that pays more.  He is aware that his lack of education is a hindrance to his ability to pull six-figures a year, but he is willing to learn just about anything.  Every time this topic comes up I cringe.  It's not that I wouldn't love to be able to take longer or fancier vacations, or be able to remodel our bathrooms and kitchen right now instead of saving up for it, but I just know what a job like that would do to him.  A management job would suck the life out of him.  He is not made for a life of bureaucracy and red tape.  And a high-risk/high-pay job (i.e. fire fighting, oil drilling, machinist) would do me in with worry.  I like having my husband come home every night from work; I might be selfish, but I do.  I also know that he loves his job and would be miserable to have to leave it.  To have a job that you are passionate about is amazing.

As for me, I have been out of the "workforce" for nearly eight years.  Our family has been blessed by the fact that Todd earns enough to keep us on a budget and I do not NEED to work.  I have considered returning on many occasions, but the idea of returning to Administrative work always makes my gut twist.  Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Administrative work.  It employed me gainfully for several years, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I was never really happy doing that alone.  My favorite jobs (both cut by the crashing economy) were in Marketing.  I loved the creative side of business.  Getting in on the ground floor of presenting a project to be considered.  This was where how you worded things really mattered.  This was when I first recognized my total love affair with words.

I used to always joke about finding the perfect job where I was paid to read books.  Back then I never believed in a million years that a job like that actually existed.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I started to realize that there are people who really DO get paid to read:  Book Reviewers.

I started researching how I could break in to that business and saw that it was a lot of free lancing and writing for nothing.  At that point my youngest was a baby and I was not ready to devote that much time to it, but I put the idea on a shelf, not ready to let it completely go.

Then, this year, I got a message from an author I follow about getting a free copy of a book if I would be interested in posting an honest review.  I immediately agreed, and pretty much fell into group of wonderful ladies who review books for different publishing companies.  The group is very supportive of each other and I love being part of this community.

As I became more and more immersed in the world of book reviews I restarted a "sister-blog" of mine, Between You, Me, and the Librarian, that I had started on the off chance that I was going to be a Book Reviewer.  I started challenging myself to post reviews on every book I read, not just books sent to me through the group.  It was a fun challenge, and great way to flex my writing skills.

I have now been doing this for 10 weeks and I know for a fact that even if it takes me years before I get paid for a review I will just keep plugging away.  Why?  Because this is my passion.  This is a drive that I have had ever since I was a child participating in the PERK program and reading Gone with the Wind, Wuthering Heights, and Treasure Island in the 4th grade.  I was one of those twisted kids that liked doing book reports.  As I told my son, writing a book review is a lot like a book report, except now I get to pick the types of books I read.

Let's Add A Year...

With all that has been going on with AJ, I don't want you to think Gordy is getting ignored.  He is not.  He is my little shadow and spends most waking hours within 5-10 feet of me.  He is such a funny mass of contradictions that I find something new to be amazed about every single day.

His personality is the type that he is funny without trying to be.  He has a natural dry wit and has an opinion on just about everything.  Right now he has an obsession with video games that we are trying to rein in.  Not that video games are bad, but he spends way too much time asking to play them.

He also has a very explosive temper.  Always has.  The day after he was born the nurse had to wake him up to change his diaper and check his vitals.  He stiffened his entire body and let out the loudest scream I had ever heard a newborn emit.  The nurse looked at me and said "He has a temper, this one.  You are in for it now."

What his temper means in connection with his video game obsession is that when we tell him no he throws a tantrum.  That is actually his typical response to all negative answers.  Again, trying to break him of this habit, but it is a LONG row to hoe.

The real looming task right now is the issue of school.  Gordy will be five years old in September.  Typically, this means we should be getting ready for Kindergarten.  Not so fast!  Oregon has a registration cut off date of September 10th for Kindergarten and 1st Grade.  That means all Kindergarteners must be 5, and all 1st Graders must be 6, on or before September 10th of the corresponding school year.  Guess whose birthday is September 15th?

That's right, Gordy has to wait another year to start Kindergarten.  At first I was furious.  He is already taller than half of the current 1st Graders (in AJ's class).  He was already going to be the tallest kid in class, now we are going to add another year?  I researched every alternative and kept coming up against a wall.  Oregon is pretty solid on their cut offs.  The only exception would be if he started Kindergarten in California, then I could get a waiver half way through the school year.  As much as I love my family in Eureka, I just couldn't see Gordy living down there for 6 months just to get a waiver to start Kindergarten a year early.  It just wasn't worth it.

I was resigned to the idea of him being a 6 year old Kindergartener, when I started volunteering in AJ's class twice a week.  There is a boy in AJ's class whose birthday is a week after Gordy's, and he is the youngest in class.  His family moved from California half-way through Kindergarten.  Observing him interact with the other students forced me to stop and reassess my opinion.  He is super bright; one of the top students in class.  He is also super immature and a distraction to all of the other students in class.

After seeing this I started talking (and listening) to several people whom I trust that might have solid, educated opinions on the matter.  My best friend (a teacher), whose birthday is the day after Gordy's and was the youngest in many of her classes;  The school secretary, whose son also has a September birthday; and my husband, whose parents started him in a private school at the age of 4.  All of them were unanimous in their chorus of "hold him back".

"Boys mature later than girls."

"They can handle being the oldest one in class far better than being the youngest one."

"Mentally, they are simply not ready to contemplate sitting still for that long.  Boys just seem to have more energy."

It was the last advice that caught me.  I'm not sure if it is true for all boys, but it is certainly true for Gordy.  So after a long discussion and a reworking of the budget we opted to put Gordy in two days of pre-school in the Fall.  This makes the most sense for us, as I am already at the school two days a week, and Gordy really does want to go to school.  He is just simply not ready for Kindergarten.

He is NOT Broken

As I start this post I know it will take me several posts to convey my feelings.  Not because I don't know what to say, but because I have so much to say at the same time that my thoughts are going to take a while to sort out.  This has been an exhausting experience, and it has only just started.

"We would like to have AJ evaluated for the Autism Spectrum."  With those words my world changed.  It's not to say that I didn't see it coming.  I saw the signs.  I'm his mother.  I know him better than any other person on the face of this planet.  I saw that some things were harder for him to understand than others.  I battled through the frustrated melt downs; clenched my teeth through the spasmodic (and ear-splitting) outbursts of joy; endured the constant, yet halting off-topic chatter; held his sobbing body every time one more thing in his life changed.

The signs may have been there, but there were other things that didn't fit.  He is very "touchy-feely".  He loves cuddling.  He is very social and makes friends very easily.  Plus, he is VERY smart.  While he isn't the smartest kid in class, he is one of the handful of kids who can work independently on his class work without the teacher's assistance.  He reads at grade-level when encouraged to do so, and has "savant-like" attention to detail.  These facts alone allowed me to push the suggestion of Autism, or more specifically Asperger's Syndrome, out of my mind.

Yet there I was, sitting in front of his 1st grade teacher and school principal during the Fall Parent-Teacher Conferences being told that AJ needs help.  He is disruptive in class, exhibits several nervous tics, appears socially awkward, has selective hearing, is unable to cope with disappointment, can't sit still, wanders away from groups, has trouble writing clearly, and walks with a clumsy, hesitant gait.  Having all of these things spelled out to me was a lot to handle.

Overall, I think I handled the conference fairly well.  I didn't go hysterical, or start spouting off all of the reasons I believed there was nothing wrong with my son, or get mad and ask for another opinion.  I simply asked them to spell out for me exactly what they had in mind.  I am forever grateful I did that because I believe that my reaction was a compass point on our journey.

I was told, very clearly, that AJ's school work is great, so the last thing anyone wanted was to take him out of a class that challenged him academically to place him in another situation that might not.  The first step was the evaluation process.  This could take up to three months.  As of this writing we have still not finished with all of the evaluations.  So far we have completed speech, hearing, vision, and medical evaluations.

In all of this I am mindful of one huge thing:  my son is a human being.  He is not a toy to be fixed.  He is NOT BROKEN.  There is nothing WRONG with him.  I cringe every time I hear that word now, especially when applied to a child.  Even a casual "What's wrong with you?" sets my blood to boil.  I realized that I never really used that phrase with my boys.  Even before all of this it seems I didn't care for that phrase.  My phrase of choice was a joking "What is your malfunction?"  For some reason, to me, that seems to be a more gentle way to inquire about a problem.  The word "wrong" just seems...wrong.  Like you aren't the way God intended.

AJ is a delight.  There are not many people who have met AJ who would not agree that AJ is a joy to be around.  I am pretty sure every teacher on staff at his school knows his name and loves him.  He is smart as a whip and, when he puts forth the effort, can accomplish above grade level work.  His downfall is his immaturity.  Socially he has a lot of work to do, but so what?!  There are a lot of people who are "normal" but emotionally deficient in many ways.

As we learn more about what makes him unique, I will keep you updated.  Right now his doctor is more concerned about his asthma/allergies/excema than his behavioral quirks.  In fact, he believes they might even be connected.  Until then, I will leave you with this thought.  God made us the way He wanted us to be made.  He knew the challenges we would face, and put people in our lives to help us through these challenges.  I think God put AJ in my life because He knew there was going to be something in my life that AJ could help me through.  AJ is perfect for me, and through his eyes I can now see myself as perfect him.

Yay! Summer Movie Express is...YESTERDAY?!?! Uh-oh!

Yup.  I blew it.  Mom sucks.  This one totally blew up in my face.  BIG TIME!  I have been pumping the boys up for this all week.  I woke up this morning and even made a big deal about it when AJ came in to say good morning.

I didn't realize anything was amiss until I decided to check to see what movies were playing next week when I noticed the line that said "Tuesdays and Wednesdays".  My heart fell.  It's Thursday.  Oh no!

Immediately I dreaded the conversation I was about to have.  I started scrambling for solutions.  How was I going to make up for this?

I grabbed my phone and looked up Redbox.  I searched for Ice Age: Continental Drift (the movie that we were supposed to see).  It was at WALMART!  Suddenly my mind began to clear.  I can do this!  You see, Walmart sells Movie Theater candy for 98¢.

I now had something to bring to the table when I approached my boys.  Granted, I knew it still wouldn't be pretty (and it wasn't), but at least I was trying.

As I figured would happen, AJ cried and G got mad.  It took me ten minutes to calm them down so that they could hear me out.  Unfortunately, that calming down included me walking away and telling them that if they didn't want to hear me out then they could settle for nothing.  Not my proudest moment, but it did the trick.

I took them to Walmart after breakfast and we got all we needed.  We even stopped by Dutch Brothers because Daddy wanted a blended coffee to cool him down.

Overall I think I more than made up for the lack of theater.  They got to see the movie, they got candy (which they probably wouldn't have at the theater) and they got popcorn.  In two weeks we will go and see Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked and all will be well with the world once again.  So maybe Mom doesn't suck that much.

Summer Is Here...Time To Read!

This weekend Todd and I got our Library Cards.  Let me tell you, there was a LOT of excitement surrounding this event.

I am prodigiously ashamed to say that while living in Humboldt County, I took the library for granted.  The Humboldt County library is beautiful and has a lot to offer to the community.  Unfortunately, it also had a particularly odd schedule.  Due to lack of funds, for the first 10 years after it's move to the new building, the county could not afford to actually run the library.  This lead to many people abandoning the library out of sheer frustration and confusion.  I will admit that in recent years they have improved their hours, but they still need more support to get to where they want to be.

This brings me to the delight that surrounded our new Library Cards to the Salem Public Library.  The library itself is huge (to me) and has half a floor dedicated 100% to the Children's Section.  Obviously this is where we will be spending most of our time.

While we were there we decided to not only sign both boys up for the Summer Reading Program, but we also decided that Kindergarten Graduation was a good reason to get AJ his own Library Card.  He was so proud and loved the frog on the front.

We spent nearly an hour there and pulled the kids out with the promise that we will come back at least TWICE this coming week.  The effect of visiting and getting the cards had the desired effect on both of the boys, because since that visit we have read about three hours.  It also presented a challenge that I was more than happy to meet.  Do I really want the boys tearing books off the bookshelf?  Or can I make a box or basket of some sort to organize their books?

Thus came about the idea for the "READING BOX".  I took a medium sized, slightly shallow box and cut the flaps off.  I labeled the four flaps as dividers for the box ("Read To Me", "Read With Me", "Read Myself" and "Library").  Then I wrapped the box, labeled the box, and reinforced all of the loose edges with packing tape.

The idea for the dividers came to me while I was sorting through books to read with AJ.  We have a TON of Children's Books.  Some of them AJ can read all by himself, some of them he is working on and still needs help with, and some of them are harder books that I read to the boys at bedtime.  I also decided to add a section for Library Books so that there is always a place to put them while they are not being read.

It makes me so happy to see AJ applying himself to his reading.  He wasn't so thrilled with reading during the school year, so I think this Summer Reading Program might be the best thing that happened to us.  I made a deal with him that I would only match his hours of reading.  I read to the boys all of the time, but I told him that half of his logged hours would have to be his own.  It seemed to help because this morning he read 45 minutes all by himself!

What A Larger Kitchen Means (Help with Pancakes!)

Growing up, my family always had a rather small kitchen.  I often heard my mom mention wanting a larger kitchen, but I didn't really know what that meant.  Every kitchen I had been in was about the same size as our kitchen.  No one I knew had a "larger" kitchen.  Besides, what would you do with one?  (Keep in mind, this was my childish mind speaking.)

I started to understand the upside to a larger kitchen around the age of 12, when I started to really cook.  By this time my brother was already cooking as well.  Two adults and two teenagers could NOT fit in our kitchen at the same time.  In fact two adults could barely fit in the kitchen without getting in each other's way.  Yet still, what did a "larger" kitchen look like?  I had still never seen one.  

Then two things happened around the same time:  My grandmother bought a larger house and our next door neighbor remodeled her kitchen.  Suddenly I knew exactly what I wanted in a kitchen.  I wanted something more that two people could work in at once.  I wanted something open enough that I could teach my children to cook and do dishes.

It was nearly two decades before I got my large kitchen, but the small kitchens I worked in in the interim taught me a lot about appreciation.  Last year, when we were in Washington visiting my FIL, my SIL referred to his kitchen as a "two-butt" kitchen.  That meant that one person could be working at the stove, counter, or sink and there was just enough room to allow someone to pass or stand behind them.  I love this phrase and now use it quite often.  

Our first apartment had a "three-butt kitchen".  Until now, it was the largest kitchen I had ever had.  It was tucked into a corner and had very little counter or cupboard space, but it was open, so it wasn't all bad.

Our second and third apartments were both "one-and-a-half-butt kitchens".  They were not family friendly at all.  I love to cook, but these kitchens made it very difficult to achieve anything beyond small batches.  I found myself doing a lot of prep work in the living room.

Our current kitchen is an estimated "five- or six-butt" kitchen.  That means we had four people working in the kitchen at the same time and there was plenty of room for more.  My husband actually stopped what he was doing and pointed it out.  We both laughed and had to explain it to my sister and mother.

I love the fact that I have a kitchen large enough for many people to congregate.  I also love that it is centrally located, so anyone who is working in the kitchen doesn't feel like they are banished to the back of the house.  To me cooking is a social activity, not a chore.

That being said, I mentioned above that I started cooking around the age of 12.  This is kind of a tradition my parents started that I want to continue with my kids.  My parents started teaching us how to cook at a young age.  By the time we were 12 we were tasked with being able to cook an entire meal unaided (my meal was meatloaf, baked potatoes, and corn).  I think this instilled in all three of us a love for cooking, and an understanding of the importance of independence.

At this point my little guys are only 6 and 3, but it won't be long before it is their turn to cook for themselves. I want their repertoire to go beyond Mac & Cheese and Top Ramen.  That is why I am so excited about them being able to help me in the kitchen whenever they get the chance.

A few weeks ago I decided to make a large batch of pancakes (in order to freeze left overs).  As I was going about my routine of prep work I saw G peeking around the corner.  It suddenly dawned on me that now was the perfect time for them to help.  It was Memorial Day and we had no plans to make us hurry.  So Cooking Lesson #1 commenced.  They both took turns putting in the ingredients and stirring.  Afterwards, both took turns helping me portion the batter onto the griddle (we have one of those cool pancake squirters).

I'd like to think they enjoyed them all the more for having helped make them, but who am I kidding...they love them no matter who made them.

PANCAKES

(Modified from recipe in Betty Crocker Cookbook)

Ingredients

1 cup flour

1 Tbsp sugar (I usually add more, but I like mine sweet)

3 tsp baking powder (I know it's a Tablespoon, but that is how the recipe is written)

1/4 tsp salt

1 egg

3/4 cup milk

2 Tbsp oil or butter (melted)

Directions

1. Heat a griddle or frying pan over Medium heat.

2. Mix together all dry ingredients in a medium mixing bowl.

3. Stir in milk using a wooden spoon.

4. In a small bowl, whisk together egg and oil until frothy.

5. Stir egg mixture into batter until smooth.

6. Oil griddle, then ladle batter into small circles.

7. When batter starts to bubble (about 2 minutes), using a wide silicone turner, flip pancakes, cook for additional 1 minute.  Remove from griddle.

To Lamb-Baste A Lender

I am usually not a very vindictive person.  Accidents happen, mistakes are made, and people just have to move on.  However, if someone can help others by sharing their bad experiences, I think it should be done.  This is true for our experience with our lender.  I don't wish to sound whiny or bitter, so here are some points laid out as impersonally as I can manage.

• Our lender (American Financial Resources) was found for us by our broker.  They were the only ones who would finance a manufactured home under FHA guidelines.  Our broker had not had a bad experience with them before so he had no reason to believe this time would be different.

• Despite having a broker, AFR tried to contact us three times on their own in order for us to sign "their" paperwork.  They essentially tried to cut our broker out of the process.

• As our original closing date was approaching AFR began having problems receiving documents.  Our broker was forced to resend bank documents and the appraisal reports on more than one occasion.  The appraisal report actually took three weeks to finally get transmitted properly.

• As our second closing date approached AFR called our broker and informed him that we did not have enough money to close escrow.  This was a mystery to us, seeing as we had enough money in the bank to close escrow twice.  It took two days of arguing (and a second extension) before our broker was able to decipher that all they wanted was proof that the "outstanding" earnest money check was cancelled and replaced with a cashier's check, per their request, at the beginning of the process.

• Once everything was finally in and ready to go AFR sat on the documents for two days, forcing us to request a third extension.

• Finally the documents were signed, the down payment was wired, and all that was needed was for AFR to wire the money to the Title Company.  Once again, they sat on it until literally two hours before our deadline.

While their national reputation is mixed, I did read some complaints online that almost mirror our experience with them.  My recommendation is that if you can get a loan somewhere else, do NOT use American Financial Resources.  If you cannot get a loan anywhere else, find a broker.

In fact, find a broker at the beginning.  It is their job to navigate the paperwork, find you the best loan, and fight for you if things start to turn nasty.  If you live in Salem or the surrounding areas, I highly recommend calling Nelson Lomax at Landmark Professional Mortgage.  He was totally our champion and got the job done by sheer will power.