Be Passionate About Your Occupation (What A Lovely Thought)

In a day and age when most of the population are very much aware of the economy and how it affects them, it is rare that someone will accept a job that pays less because it is more enjoyable or something they want to do.  More and more people are worried about the bottom line; they are worried about whether or not they have insurance coverage or will be able to pay a mortgage on a house in a "good" neighborhood.  This is not to say that there are not jobs out there that are wonderful AND pay well, it is just evident among the people I talk to that so many people are afraid of finding a job they like, because they don't want to "rock the boat".

My husband LOVES his job.  He is a mailman.  A letter carrier, for those modern, PC types.  He walks 13 miles a day, so he gets lots of exercise, and he meets lots of great people.  He takes care of his customers, and they take care of him.  Because of his job we have gotten free wood for our fire place, lots of pallets for building things around the house, discounts on many things we have needed to run our home, and tips about where to get furniture and fixtures for next to nothing.  With his personality it seems he was born for a job like this.

Over the years he has talked about finding a job that pays more.  He is aware that his lack of education is a hindrance to his ability to pull six-figures a year, but he is willing to learn just about anything.  Every time this topic comes up I cringe.  It's not that I wouldn't love to be able to take longer or fancier vacations, or be able to remodel our bathrooms and kitchen right now instead of saving up for it, but I just know what a job like that would do to him.  A management job would suck the life out of him.  He is not made for a life of bureaucracy and red tape.  And a high-risk/high-pay job (i.e. fire fighting, oil drilling, machinist) would do me in with worry.  I like having my husband come home every night from work; I might be selfish, but I do.  I also know that he loves his job and would be miserable to have to leave it.  To have a job that you are passionate about is amazing.

As for me, I have been out of the "workforce" for nearly eight years.  Our family has been blessed by the fact that Todd earns enough to keep us on a budget and I do not NEED to work.  I have considered returning on many occasions, but the idea of returning to Administrative work always makes my gut twist.  Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Administrative work.  It employed me gainfully for several years, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I was never really happy doing that alone.  My favorite jobs (both cut by the crashing economy) were in Marketing.  I loved the creative side of business.  Getting in on the ground floor of presenting a project to be considered.  This was where how you worded things really mattered.  This was when I first recognized my total love affair with words.

I used to always joke about finding the perfect job where I was paid to read books.  Back then I never believed in a million years that a job like that actually existed.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I started to realize that there are people who really DO get paid to read:  Book Reviewers.

I started researching how I could break in to that business and saw that it was a lot of free lancing and writing for nothing.  At that point my youngest was a baby and I was not ready to devote that much time to it, but I put the idea on a shelf, not ready to let it completely go.

Then, this year, I got a message from an author I follow about getting a free copy of a book if I would be interested in posting an honest review.  I immediately agreed, and pretty much fell into group of wonderful ladies who review books for different publishing companies.  The group is very supportive of each other and I love being part of this community.

As I became more and more immersed in the world of book reviews I restarted a "sister-blog" of mine, Between You, Me, and the Librarian, that I had started on the off chance that I was going to be a Book Reviewer.  I started challenging myself to post reviews on every book I read, not just books sent to me through the group.  It was a fun challenge, and great way to flex my writing skills.

I have now been doing this for 10 weeks and I know for a fact that even if it takes me years before I get paid for a review I will just keep plugging away.  Why?  Because this is my passion.  This is a drive that I have had ever since I was a child participating in the PERK program and reading Gone with the Wind, Wuthering Heights, and Treasure Island in the 4th grade.  I was one of those twisted kids that liked doing book reports.  As I told my son, writing a book review is a lot like a book report, except now I get to pick the types of books I read.

Let's Add A Year...

With all that has been going on with AJ, I don't want you to think Gordy is getting ignored.  He is not.  He is my little shadow and spends most waking hours within 5-10 feet of me.  He is such a funny mass of contradictions that I find something new to be amazed about every single day.

His personality is the type that he is funny without trying to be.  He has a natural dry wit and has an opinion on just about everything.  Right now he has an obsession with video games that we are trying to rein in.  Not that video games are bad, but he spends way too much time asking to play them.

He also has a very explosive temper.  Always has.  The day after he was born the nurse had to wake him up to change his diaper and check his vitals.  He stiffened his entire body and let out the loudest scream I had ever heard a newborn emit.  The nurse looked at me and said "He has a temper, this one.  You are in for it now."

What his temper means in connection with his video game obsession is that when we tell him no he throws a tantrum.  That is actually his typical response to all negative answers.  Again, trying to break him of this habit, but it is a LONG row to hoe.

The real looming task right now is the issue of school.  Gordy will be five years old in September.  Typically, this means we should be getting ready for Kindergarten.  Not so fast!  Oregon has a registration cut off date of September 10th for Kindergarten and 1st Grade.  That means all Kindergarteners must be 5, and all 1st Graders must be 6, on or before September 10th of the corresponding school year.  Guess whose birthday is September 15th?

That's right, Gordy has to wait another year to start Kindergarten.  At first I was furious.  He is already taller than half of the current 1st Graders (in AJ's class).  He was already going to be the tallest kid in class, now we are going to add another year?  I researched every alternative and kept coming up against a wall.  Oregon is pretty solid on their cut offs.  The only exception would be if he started Kindergarten in California, then I could get a waiver half way through the school year.  As much as I love my family in Eureka, I just couldn't see Gordy living down there for 6 months just to get a waiver to start Kindergarten a year early.  It just wasn't worth it.

I was resigned to the idea of him being a 6 year old Kindergartener, when I started volunteering in AJ's class twice a week.  There is a boy in AJ's class whose birthday is a week after Gordy's, and he is the youngest in class.  His family moved from California half-way through Kindergarten.  Observing him interact with the other students forced me to stop and reassess my opinion.  He is super bright; one of the top students in class.  He is also super immature and a distraction to all of the other students in class.

After seeing this I started talking (and listening) to several people whom I trust that might have solid, educated opinions on the matter.  My best friend (a teacher), whose birthday is the day after Gordy's and was the youngest in many of her classes;  The school secretary, whose son also has a September birthday; and my husband, whose parents started him in a private school at the age of 4.  All of them were unanimous in their chorus of "hold him back".

"Boys mature later than girls."

"They can handle being the oldest one in class far better than being the youngest one."

"Mentally, they are simply not ready to contemplate sitting still for that long.  Boys just seem to have more energy."

It was the last advice that caught me.  I'm not sure if it is true for all boys, but it is certainly true for Gordy.  So after a long discussion and a reworking of the budget we opted to put Gordy in two days of pre-school in the Fall.  This makes the most sense for us, as I am already at the school two days a week, and Gordy really does want to go to school.  He is just simply not ready for Kindergarten.

He is NOT Broken

As I start this post I know it will take me several posts to convey my feelings.  Not because I don't know what to say, but because I have so much to say at the same time that my thoughts are going to take a while to sort out.  This has been an exhausting experience, and it has only just started.

"We would like to have AJ evaluated for the Autism Spectrum."  With those words my world changed.  It's not to say that I didn't see it coming.  I saw the signs.  I'm his mother.  I know him better than any other person on the face of this planet.  I saw that some things were harder for him to understand than others.  I battled through the frustrated melt downs; clenched my teeth through the spasmodic (and ear-splitting) outbursts of joy; endured the constant, yet halting off-topic chatter; held his sobbing body every time one more thing in his life changed.

The signs may have been there, but there were other things that didn't fit.  He is very "touchy-feely".  He loves cuddling.  He is very social and makes friends very easily.  Plus, he is VERY smart.  While he isn't the smartest kid in class, he is one of the handful of kids who can work independently on his class work without the teacher's assistance.  He reads at grade-level when encouraged to do so, and has "savant-like" attention to detail.  These facts alone allowed me to push the suggestion of Autism, or more specifically Asperger's Syndrome, out of my mind.

Yet there I was, sitting in front of his 1st grade teacher and school principal during the Fall Parent-Teacher Conferences being told that AJ needs help.  He is disruptive in class, exhibits several nervous tics, appears socially awkward, has selective hearing, is unable to cope with disappointment, can't sit still, wanders away from groups, has trouble writing clearly, and walks with a clumsy, hesitant gait.  Having all of these things spelled out to me was a lot to handle.

Overall, I think I handled the conference fairly well.  I didn't go hysterical, or start spouting off all of the reasons I believed there was nothing wrong with my son, or get mad and ask for another opinion.  I simply asked them to spell out for me exactly what they had in mind.  I am forever grateful I did that because I believe that my reaction was a compass point on our journey.

I was told, very clearly, that AJ's school work is great, so the last thing anyone wanted was to take him out of a class that challenged him academically to place him in another situation that might not.  The first step was the evaluation process.  This could take up to three months.  As of this writing we have still not finished with all of the evaluations.  So far we have completed speech, hearing, vision, and medical evaluations.

In all of this I am mindful of one huge thing:  my son is a human being.  He is not a toy to be fixed.  He is NOT BROKEN.  There is nothing WRONG with him.  I cringe every time I hear that word now, especially when applied to a child.  Even a casual "What's wrong with you?" sets my blood to boil.  I realized that I never really used that phrase with my boys.  Even before all of this it seems I didn't care for that phrase.  My phrase of choice was a joking "What is your malfunction?"  For some reason, to me, that seems to be a more gentle way to inquire about a problem.  The word "wrong" just seems...wrong.  Like you aren't the way God intended.

AJ is a delight.  There are not many people who have met AJ who would not agree that AJ is a joy to be around.  I am pretty sure every teacher on staff at his school knows his name and loves him.  He is smart as a whip and, when he puts forth the effort, can accomplish above grade level work.  His downfall is his immaturity.  Socially he has a lot of work to do, but so what?!  There are a lot of people who are "normal" but emotionally deficient in many ways.

As we learn more about what makes him unique, I will keep you updated.  Right now his doctor is more concerned about his asthma/allergies/excema than his behavioral quirks.  In fact, he believes they might even be connected.  Until then, I will leave you with this thought.  God made us the way He wanted us to be made.  He knew the challenges we would face, and put people in our lives to help us through these challenges.  I think God put AJ in my life because He knew there was going to be something in my life that AJ could help me through.  AJ is perfect for me, and through his eyes I can now see myself as perfect him.